The seventh commandment
by Short on words
Summary: She has made a vow and he's too proud to admit he's made a mistake. When Damon and Elena get re-introduced by their current spouses, they get wrapped up in the struggle of a lifetime. Love, trust, guilt, jealousy. Let the games begin… AH – AU
1. Total eclipse of the heart

**Disclaimer: I do not own TVD, nor do I own Bonnie Tyler's lyrics.**

* * *

_January 2005_

To have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part…

"I do," Damon Salvatore spoke loud and clear, as the young boy who was dressed as a priest recited his lines.

"And do you, Ana Lucia James, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the boy asked Elena.

"I do," Elena replied, staring deeply into two mesmerizing blue eyes.

Misses Thomas was beaming excitedly, as the students of her drama club were executing the play she wrote. Fifteen-year-old Elena Gilbert was the star of the play and she did a stellar job at it. The male lead was a complete other story, however, always stirring up more trouble than poor miss Thomas could handle.

Everyone on the play knew that Damon Salvatore had only auditioned for the play to spend time with his girlfriend, since Elena's parents would never approve of their little girl dating a troublesome senior. Yet there was no denying, however, that the guy could act, and the young couple clearly had chemistry. In the end that was all that mattered for the drama teacher, so she happily watched the two of them in action.

"You may kiss the bride," the boy with the goofy grin announced. That's where it all went wrong. Damon eagerly leaned in and captured Elena's lips in a searing kiss that had her curl her toes. The entire cast and crew watched awestruck as the eighteen-year-old womanizer devoured his innocent girlfriend in front of their drama-teacher.

"Enough!" misses Thomas shouted.

Damon reluctantly released Elena with one last chaste peck on her lips. She was blushing furiously and breathing hard, looking down to avoid all the curious eyes.

"You're in big trouble, mister!" misses Thomas's voice boomed through the auditorium, her voice menacing.

"I only did as I was told," Damon replied, challenging the older woman.

"You were supposed to kiss her _on the cheek_!" the drama teacher accused, enunciating the three last words to prove her point.

"Come on, what kind of husband would kiss his wife on the cheek?" Damon scoffed.

"The fake kind! The one in a school play with a fifteen-year-old co-star!" misses Thomas nearly shouted, already afraid that the girl's parents would hear about the incident and complain.

"She's my girlfriend!" Damon snapped angrily.

"Detention mister Salvatore. Now!"

"Fine. That was the only interesting part of the damn play anyway," Damon muttered before packing his backpack.

….

_May 2005_

It was a nice evening in spring when the young couple celebrated their six-month anniversary. For a badboy with an terrible reputation, Damon had truly outdone himself, lighting candles all over the floor of the old abandoned barn on the edge of the property.

"You do know that this is a fire hazard, right?" Elena teased as she sank down onto the pile of pillows her thoughtful boyfriend had supplied.

"I've got four buckets full of water of there in the corner," Damon replied before taking a bite of food he had brought along for their romantic evening.

"Aww, my perfect boyfriend," Elena coed, praising him in an exaggerated manner.

"Pff," Damon scoffed.

"No, seriously Damon. Preparing dinner, cleaning up the entire barn and making it so cozy… it's really wonderful, you're the best," she told him sweetly.

Damon gently cradled her face and kissed her, "Mmm, and don't you forget it," he smirked, unable to take a true compliment.

Half an hour later Damon was rinsing the plates outside by the barrel of water, while Elena called her parents. Mister and misses Gilbert were under the false impression that their daughter was staying the night with Caroline Forbes, it was simply better that way. Elena was confident she wasn't rushing into things, but she was also confident her parents would never understand her need to be with Damon. And now they were alone, outside an abandoned barn, free to do whatever they liked.

xXx

"Are you comfortable?" Damon asked, a little nervous, his eyes never leaving Elena's.

"M-, maybe we could blow the candles out?" Elena suggested, her voice hesitant. When Damon raised an eyebrow she added quietly, "I can't relax if I'm afraid the place will go up in flames, Damon."

"Of course," Damon agreed. Two minutes later the candles were out and the room was pitch dark. Then it dawned on Damon, an old barn, a cold floor, this was not what Elena deserved.

"Where are we going?" she wondered, when Damon took her by the hand.

"My room," Damon whispered, leading her through grass and trees until the big mansion he lived in appeared in front of them.

"I thought you never brought girls home," Elena interjected.

"I think you're worth breaking a tradition or two," Damon replied simply, interlacing their fingers.

* * *

_June 2014  
Salvatore Mansion_

"Kat? You almost ready? We have to leave," Damon called, adjusting his tie.

"Almost baby, would you zip me up please?" Katherine questioned sultrily, entering the kitchen with her back bare.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Damon demanded, when eyeing his wife's outfit. The dress she had chosen was almost completely see-through, not to mention the fact that it was indecently short for the elegant business mixer they were attending.

"You like it?" Katherine challenged, twirling around.

"Kat, your nightwear consist of more fabric than this… thing," Damon managed, waving his hand at the dress.

"Well, that's because you don't appreciate my skin like your colleagues do," Katherine replied simply.

"Change. Now!" Damon ordered, tired of the little mind tricks his wife loved to play. Katherine was acting completely insufferable lately and to say that Damon was at the end of his rope, would be an understatement.

xXx

"Better?" Katherine questioned, showing off a more modest blue dress.

"Yes, thank you darling," Damon replied, giving her a small nod. It meant more to his wife then she cared to admit. She still craved his approval, regardless of her tactless theatrics.

"So… will the Banners be attending?" Katherine drew after a moment.

"They will," Damon confirmed, not missing the small smile that played on his wife's lips.

"Do I need to remind you that screwing the competition is my job and not yours?" he questioned bitterly.

"Sweety, Bernard is just a good friend. Very _delightful_ man I might ad," Katherine spoke, adding fuel to the fire.

Damon took a deep breath, loosening his collar a little, "I'm happy you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance, darling. _Again_." he muttered under his breath before leaving the room.

"Daddy!" a bubbly four-year old greeted him as he entered the living room.

"Hey sweetheart," Damon replied smiling, picking his daughter up.

"Whoa, you look vewy pwetty," she complimented as she look in her father's outfit.

"Handsome, sweetheart, your father looks handsome," Lora, the housekeeper, corrected.

"No, pretty is fine. At least until he grows some balls," Katherine interjected, walking into the room.

"Miss Katherine," Lora acknowledged politely, already used to the snide comments and the thunderstorm of sarcasm.

"Mommy!" Sophia squealed, reaching out her arms.

"Not tonight Soph, you'll ruin my make-up," Katherine declined. "But be good tonight, ok?" she ended their conversation, ignoring her daughter's cute pouty face.

"Damon, are you ready to leave?" she asked next, focusing her attention of her baffled husband.

"Are you seriously this heartless, or are you making a special effort today?" he bit back angrily.

"Chop, chop," was all his wife replied, tapping her wrist.

Damon groaned. "Hey sweetheart," he spoke, crouching in front of his little girl, "Mommy and I have to work tonight but when we get back before you know it and we'll both come and give you a kiss goodnight. Are you going to be a good girl?" he questioned softly. Sophia nodded, looking up at her parents.

"We love you sweetheart," Damon told her, brushing a kiss onto her forehead. Katherine had already left the room.

xXx

"Darling, what's wrong. I changed the dress, didn't I?" Katherine wined, sick of the silence treatment her husband was giving her.

"You don't deserve a child," Damon stated simply.

"I don't," Katherine agreed, "That's why she's yours," Katherine defended herself.

"It doesn't work that way, Kat! You cannot have a baby and then abandon her when you get bored! Sophie is your daughter too and it's about time you started acting like a mother," he set her straight.

"Darling," Katherine said softly, running a comforting hand through her husband's hair, "You wanted a child and I loved you enough to agree to that, but I don't have a single maternal bone in my body, expecting me to raise her would damage the poor thing," Katherine defended herself.

Damon stopped the car by the side of the road, slowly counting down from ten. "This is you demanding attention, right. Please, pleeeease, press pause for a moment and assure me that you're not really this stupid," Damon demanded, his emotions getting the better of him.

Katherine was quiet.

"I do care about her, Damon," she whispered after a while.

"Really? Because I beg to differ! You cannot use an innocent four-year-old to get to your husband. It's borderline psychopathic Katherine!" Damon burst out.

"I read her a bedtime story yesterday, while you were away," Katherine admitted softly.

"How long had it been?" Damon demanded.

Katherine couldn't reply, she genuinely didn't remember.

"Way to prove my point," he muttered. "You know, once upon a time we used to feed her and dress her, take long walks, play together... Where's that Katherine? Where's the woman I married?" Damon asked softly.

"I guess she overheard you talking to your brother," Katherine muttered softy.

"Oh Kat, please don't tell me that that's the reason you've been acting so strangely lately," Damon whispered softly.

Katherine just looked down.

"Kat, I didn't mean those things I said, I was just having a really bad week. You should have talked to me, instead of making assumptions and beating yourself up," Damon insisted.

"You sounded pretty convincing," Katherine said softly, her voice trembling with the first real emotions she'd shown Damon in a long time.

Damon stroked her cheek with his finger, "I didn't… But I need you to stop the flirting and be there for Soph, she needs you."

Katherine nodded.

"Ok, let's make the best of tonight," Damon told her, starting his car again, in a better mood.

* * *

_Avery House_

"Sweetheart, are you almost ready?" Matthew called out.

"I am," Elena said softly, nervously stepping out of their bathroom.

"Whoa, you look absolutely stunning," Matthew breathed, taking another moment to gaze.

Elena was wearing a gorgeous, strapless dress. The material was exquisite. Chocolate brown curls were arranged over her left shoulder and her make-up was light.

The top she was wearing was tight and corset-like, hugging her curves beautifully, once it reached her hips it fanned out a little. Then Matthew 's even fell on her legs, beautiful long tan legs that seemed to last forever, even without her heals.

"Don't be nervous dear," Matthew soothed, taking her hands in his to stop her fidgeting. "This is going to be a wonderful night."

"I'm not used to business men, I won't know what to say," Elena said softly, for looking forward to the mixer.

"You're used to me, aren't you?" Matthew teased, "Beside, the one associate we really have to talk to is a woman, Katherine Salvatore. Her company is in need of a new supplier and we want to seal the deal," he smiled.

"Maybe you should go alone then, a handsome man like you…" Elena teased.

"Haha, she's happily married sweetheart, and I've heard she's kind of a bitch," he whispered a little softer, as if someone could overhear.

"Sounds great," Elena murmured.

"Relax sweetheart, I'm sure we'll have a wonderful night," Matthew promised, taking his tie and moving downstairs.

* * *

_Later that evening at the mixer_

"That's a very interesting proposal, mister-"

"Avery," Matthew supplied.

"We have a lot of estates in our possession at the moment, projects like yours could truly make a difference. I've always had a heart for the environment, but green contractors are a hard to come by," Damon informed him.

"Apparently we are. When I was talking to your wife earlier, about supplying for her company, she said the exact same thing," Matthew told him with a smile.

"Well, I'm happy she introduced us, it would be a real pleasure doing business with you. I have a few other people I have to talk to here first, but I'll definitely find you afterwards to talk some more. Here's my business card," Damon told him as he handed Matthew the card.

A firm handshake was exchanged and the men were both on their way again.

xXx

Two firm hands settled discreetly onto Elena's hips. "Matthew, is that-"

"Of course it's me, darling, wouldn't allow any other man to come so close," he assured her with a wink.

A soft smile lit up Elena's face. "So, did you talk to misses Salvatore?" she wondered.

"I did," Matthew revealed proudly. "She's in!"

"Whoa, darling, good job. That's fantastic," Elena complimented her beaming husband. He just pulled her a little closer, his hand rubbing lovingly over her hip.

"On top of that, I talked to mister Salvatore, his wife introduced us. Apparently he's thinking about turning a few of his biggest estates into green living areas, utilizing renewable energy and sustainable materials. If he's serious about it, I could have an even bigger project on my hands," Matthew confided in her.

"That was exactly the break you were hoping for, wasn't? I'm so very proud of you, I knew you'd impress them," Elena said, smiling up at him.

"You're really the most amazing and supportive wife any husband could ask for, you know that right?" he told her, eying the band new ring on her finger.

"Of yours mister Avery," she beamed, her eyes intently set on his.

"Oh, there you are," a beautiful woman interrupted, approaching the couple.

"Katherine Salvatore," she introduced herself, reaching her hand out to Elena.

"Elena G-, Avery," Elena stammered softly.

"Newlyweds huh? Don't worry dear, you'll get used to your new name, especially when it's attached to a man like that," Katherine said, winking, flirting shamelessly with Matthew.

"Speaking about you, mister Avery, you forgot to give me your card," she purred.

"Sure, misses Salvatore," Matthew said, reaching into the pocket of his vest.

"Katherine, call me Katherine."

"Ok," Matthew agreed, giving her the card.

"Matthew," Katherine read out loud with a smile.

"I'll get the three of us a new glass," Matthew excused himself for a moment, hoping Katherine and Elena could start a conversation that wasn't about him in the meantime.

"So," Katherine drew. "Are you in business too?" she inquired curiously.

"No, I'm an assistant at Wash. U., I'll graduate this fall," Elena replied politely.

"Just _how_ old are you?" Katherine questioned, downright interrogative now.

"Twenty four," Elena answered.

"You don't say," Katherine mused.

Before Elena really had time to consider how to interpret Katherine's last statement, her husband was back with a waiter.

xXx

"Yann Tiersen," Elena whispered to Matthew, somewhere halfway a new conversation.

"What?" Katherine inquired in her annoyingly, fake interested, tone.

"My wife is pretty fond of the artist who composed this piece of music," Matthew explained."Perhaps you've heard of 'Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain'?" he added.

"Comptine d'un autre été," Elena supplied.

"I don't speak French," Katherine said dismissively. "and I like my music a little more upbeat. This song is… boring, wouldn't you agree Matthew?"

"This is actually a new piece, misses Salvatore, not an old one" Elena replied. _Anyone who ever told that woman to just be herself couldn't have given her any worse advice._

"Mister Avery!" a male voice interrupted them, coming up next to Katherine.

"Call me Matthew," a very relieved mister Avery replied.

Happy for another man to break the tension between the two woman.

"Darling, this is mister Salvatore, Mister Salvatore-"

"Damon, Matthew, call me Damon," Damon corrected.

"Damon… This is my wife, Elena," Matthew introduced them.

Two pairs of eyes met briefly and parted equally fast. Damon, however, was the first one to recover. "Nice to meet you misses Avery," he said stiffly, reaching out his hand.

Elena just stared. Dazed.

"Sweetheart?" Matthew asked.

"Sweetheart, are you ok?" he repeated, concerned when realizing that all the color was draining from her face.

"I'm sorry," Elena said, blinking, weakly shaking Damon's hand. "

Do you two know each other?" Katherine demanded suddenly, picking up on the obvious tension. "

No, I don't remember every seeing misses Avery before," Damon replied formally.

"I'm going to use the ladies room for a moment," she excused herself, refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

* * *

_March 2005_

A trail of kisses went up to Elena's lips, ending in a captivating kiss.

Elena was still coming down from her high, trembling a little, on top of the soft over-sized mattress.

"Are you still ok?" Damon asked softly, stroking her cheek, adoration evident in his eyes.

"That was amazing," Elena whispered, a proud smile appeared on Damon's lips.

"I think I'm ready," she added a little later, referring to the one thing they'd been talking about for weeks.

"Are you sure?" Damon double-checked.

"Mmm," Elena murmured and Damon put the condom on.

Damon was stroking her hair, his eyes never leaving hers as he gently lowed himself onto her body.

"Ow," Elena couldn't help the small sound escaping her lips as Damon brushed her entrance.

"Should I stop?" Damon asked concerned, pausing his movements.

"No," Elena replied, her voice small.

"Ow." Two beautiful brown eyes glazed over in tears and Damon felt her body tense underneath his.

"Continue," Elena spoke, her voice strained.

Damon lowered himself completely, but instead of pushing into her, like Elena had expected him to do, he just brushed against the inside of her tight. Then he rolled them over, adjusting Elena on top of him. Her center was now resting on top of his right hip and Damon removed the condom, reaching out his hand to put it in the dustbin.

"Damon, I wanted to-" Elena started.

"Take a deep breath," he interrupted. "and relax."

Elena's head was resting on Damon's chest as Damon held her close. On hand was resting on her lower back and the other one was stroking up and down her spine.

"I'm sorry," Elena whispered.

"I'm not," Damon whispered back. "It's ok to not be ready Elena, it does not change the way I feel about you."

"It just-, it hurts and that-"

"… frightens you," Damon finished.

"Yes," Elena confirmed.

"I think that's normal sweetheart, plus, I was older than you are now, when I first slept with someone," Damon admitted.

"You were?"

"I was."

"I'm eighteen and you're fifteen. It's only natural that we have a different level of experience. You can take all the time you need," he told her wholeheartedly.

"I do love you… and I trust you," Elena whispered, trying to reassure him that this was on her and not on him.

"I understand that and I believe you, but that doesn't mean you're ready. I want you to understand, truly understand, that I can wait. I can wait a month, or a year, three years, more… I plan on being with you forever, Elena, so take whatever time you need, it's not going to make a big difference in the grand scheme of things. This is not something I want us to do until you are completely ready, it shouldn't be rushed," Damon assured her.

"You are… incredible," Elena whispered.

"I'm just in love," Damon teased.

"What do we do until I'm ready?" Elena asked suddenly, needing that last question to be answered before she could rest assured.

"We've been having a lot of fun over the past six months, I don't see why we should stop. Or are you planning on going celibate? Then we'd have to renegotiate," he teased.

"Is that going to be enough for you?" Elena insisted.

"Have you ever paid attention to my reactions to your touch?" Damon inquired.

Elena smirked. "You are… No. I'm out of words to describe you. You just make me very, very happy."

"My pleasure sweetheart," Damon replied, kissing the top of her head.

* * *

_June 2014, 11 PM_

Elena was sitting on alone on a bench outside of the main building. She'd been breathing in the cool air for a while now, still she couldn't seem to calm down. Damon was inside. _Her Damon. Her first love, her first real boyfriend, once upon a time she'd thought she'd marry him and now he-_

"Misses Avery," a familiar voice, interrupted her thoughts.

A little startled she looked up into two mesmerizing blue eyes, even deeper than her husband's.

"D-," her mouth opened, but no words seemed to come out.

"I believe it's time for you to go back inside, you husband is getting worried," Damon informed her, his tone chipped.

"I-, I'm sorry for what happened, Damon, but you never knew the entire story" Elena whispered.

"I have no clue what you're talking about misses Avery, but could you be so kind to inform my wife I'll be waiting in the car?"

Elena nodded, stupefied.

"Goodbye misses Avery."

"Goodbye mister Salvatore."

xXx

Once upon a time I was falling in love  
But now I'm only falling apart  
Nothing I can do  
A total eclipse of the heart

**xXx**

**Eventually Scars Beneath the Surface is going to come to a close and I'm never going to be able to let it end if I don't find another big project. So the next six weeks I'm going to try some new concepts out, how do you like this one?**


	2. Flares

**Inspired by The Script's new album, here's ****_Flares_****.**

**xXx**

Previously

_"I have no clue what you're talking about Misses Avery, but could you be so kind to inform my wife I'll be waiting in the car?"_

_Elena nodded, tongue-tied._

_"Goodbye Misses Avery."_

_"Goodbye Mister Salvatore."_

**xXx**

Elena walked back into the ballroom, or perhaps _fled_ was the better suited expression. She was stunned, puzzled and confused. She practically ran. _Matthew_. She had to find Matthew and tell him they were leaving. Luckily she spotted him soon enough, behind the bar with some new investors.

"Mat?" Elena called out to get his attention. "Mat?" She motioned for him to come over and he did, after excusing himself.

"Can we please leave now?" Elena inquired, desperately trying to keep her voice even.

"There's one more person I'll have to talk to baby," Mat replied a little torn.

"Do you really have to?" Elena insisted. She truly wasn't up for any more small talk.

"I'm afraid so," Mat told her ruefully, "It's really important for my business," he explained.

"Okey," Elena drew, sighing deeply.

"Will you be fine a little while longer?" Mat asked anyway, more out of politeness than actual consideration. He _knew_ she wanted to go home.

"Mmm," Elena murmured, turning on her heel and heading into the crowed to go look for Katherine. _She had a message to convey after all…_

**xXx**

Five minutes later, the young woman in her gorgeous dress was standing in a corner, staring out into the distance. She looked lost. _She felt lost_. Katherine was nowhere to be found and her husband was busy, apart from them Elena had no one to talk to.

"God, have you seen Misses Salvatore?" she suddenly heard a voice from behind her whisper.

"No. What's the story there?" an equally gossipy voice questioned.

"Look for yourself," was the swift reply that followed.

Elena did, along with the rest of the group standing next to her. It was hard to miss actually, Katherine Pierce passionately kissing - or rather devouring - a man in the middle dance floor. Elena didn't know him and couldn't properly see who it was exactly. But one thing was certain: he wasn't Damon Salvatore.

Elena's two chocolate brown eyes widened and for a second she was incapacitated, nailed to the ground. Then when she finally remembered how to move, she ran out, as fast as the high heels she wore could carry her. _Away. Far away_. She didn't stop until she was far into the parking lot, standing in the gloomy shadow of a lone lantern. _Alone. Utterly alone_.

There was far too much to process on the far too eventful night, yet she had no one to talk to, no one to listen. So instead she leaned, or rather slumped, back into one of the cars in line and looked up at the stars, searching for answers that weren't there.

A sudden heaviness seemed to creep down on top of her, like a thick blanket. Swallowing her. The next things she noticed were the silent tears streaking her cheeks.

_One tear_ for the friendship she'd lost.  
_One tear_ for the loneliness.  
One, for Damon's fate.  
And one for the fact that she couldn't be the one to comfort him. _Not anymore_.

She wiped her cheeks dry, trembling slightly. It was cold outside, her coat awaiting her slender body at the reception. Yet she couldn't go back. _There was no going back_.

Memories of Damon came to mind, unbidden. They'd never had a proper goodbye. Only a quick 'no' without further ado, back when they split up. She'd never talked about it with anyone, never properly processed what had happened. At a certain point she'd just 'stopped'. Pushing Damon out. Pushing the memories out, to the back of her mind. Until a time came when she'd be able to adequately deal with those feelings. Except that time had never come…

**xXx**

_Did you lose what won't return?__  
Did you love but never learn?  
The fire's out but still it burns  
And. No. One. Cares.  
There's. No. One. There.__  
_**_xXx_**

"Misses Avery?" a voice called out into the dark.

A part of her heard him, yet she wasn't consciously registering that the sound was truly there and not just in her head. Moreover, she hardly gathered that she was supposed to reply.

"Elena?" the same familiar voice insisted, louder this time.

The young woman did not respond, peering into the sky to find the constellations she had learned to name as a little girl.

"Gilbert." Damon finally demanded, sounding half-aggravated and half-concerned by now.

Shocked out of her daze, Elena turned her head, facing the man who was casually leaning against the side of his windshield.

"Is she coming?" Damon inquired, once he had her attention.

"Huh? What?" Elena asked confused.

"Katherine. Is she coming?" Damon repeated irritated. He couldn't remember Elena ever coming across as so distracted. She'd always been very focused and collected.

His words took a second or two to sink in before Elena slowly shook her head, not moving an inch closer although there was still come distance to cross between them.

"Elena, are you ok?" Damon finally asked, his tone a little harsher than intended though the 'Misses Avery' had already been exchanged for her first name.

"Elena?" he questioned softer.

The woman in front of him nodded once, before turning around and walking away.

"Wait!" Damon called. The footsteps stopped, motions stilled.

"Why isn't she coming?" Damon inquired.

All Elena did was meet his gaze, refusing to utter the words out loud.

Damon swallow. _That bad_, he realized. "Was she in male company?" Damon tried tentatively. _Katherine was always in male company_. He could see the affirmation in Elena's torn expression.

"Flirting?" Damon pressed. Elena's eyes only turned sadder until he registered something else. _Pity_.

"Kissing?" he managed, half-brokenly. Elena nodded slightly and Damon turned away, leaning heavily against the hood of his tinted car now. _He knew enough_.

**_xXx_**

_Did you break but never mend?__  
Did it hurt so much you thought it was the end?  
Lose your heart but don't know when  
And. No. One. Care.  
There's. No. One. There._

**xXx**

Five minutes later Elena still stood there, watching him. She couldn't say anything, but she couldn't leave him alone either. So instead she shuffled closer. _One step. Two steps_. Nearing the car until she was close enough to touch it.

She had turned to the stars, those same stars Damon was admiring now, when he decided to break the silence.

"It's not that bad," he murmured, at first seemingly to himself, until he turned his head her way. "It's ok," he assured her, before gazing back up at the sky.

"We weren't working. Maybe we never were. We were threading water for the little girl we share, but now… I guess… We've been in overtime. Expired…" his voice trailed off and it took him a few moments before he continued.

"Guess we were in love. Once. We… We thought it would work. Did the house-, white-picked-fence… baby… routine. And it wasn't perfect. It was faaaaaaaar from perfect, but we do have a little girl and I stupidly thought that that was enough," Damon drew, only now making Elena realize that perhaps he'd had a little too much to drink.

Elena watched the side of his tilted face and Damon chuckled before continuing. "She's manipulative and psychopathic." He chuckled once more, bitterly. "All the mind games. All the antics I had to put up with. Yet I thought she could put that on hold for our baby, be a better person for Sophia. She _promised_," he insisted, stressing the last word.

"She promised she would change. Again. Again. Again and tonight yet again. And I'm not stupid. I've always known her, still my heart refused to believe that the person I married could ever be capable of ruthless and reckless behavior. Guess I was wrong…" Damon finished.

"I'm sorry," Elena whispered pained. "How old is your daughter?"

"Four," Damon told her softly, "And I have no clue what's next for her," Damon added sadly.

Elena tilted her head in silent confusion and Damon explained. "Kat doesn't care about Sophia. Not enough. If I chase her off, my girl's going to end up without a mom."

"Well if you truly believe that your wife cares that little for her, it sounds like a new beginning might not be too bad for her after all…" she tried gingerly.

Damon huffed. "Divorce isn't good for kids."

"Arguing and stress isn't good for kids. I think they can handle a lot apart from that, as long as they feel loved," she contended.

"Maybe," Damon pondered, "maybe some broken dynamics aren't meant to be saved then."

"Perhaps," Elena agreed.

"It's crazy," Damon concluded.

Elena shifted closer, joining her first boyfriend on the hood of the car, following his line of sight, staring at a lonely star up high.

"I think I failed her," Damon mused.

"Katherine?" Elena demanded incredulously.

"Sophia," Damon quickly clarified. "I _do not_ _want_ her in the middle of this. I want her safe and sound and in a stable environment. She has to feel loved and cared for and… I had a plan… It just-, totally backfired somehow…" he admitted ruefully.

"You are not responsible for the hurt and the craziness Katherine pulls off," Elena offered determinedly. "Partners don't come with a manual, let alone _proper warnings_."

Damon chuckled a little at that.

"Plus people change, Damon. You can never blame yourself for trying, and certainly not for leaving, if that means protecting those you care about… " she insisted.

"Plus that warm nest you strive for, the safe and sound you want to offer. That's something _you_ create, something _you_ ensure. And sure, it's harder without a second hand. It's more demanding if you're holding the forth on your own. But a kind king, such as yourself, shouldn't have too much trouble drumming up some white knights to the rescue. Don't you have any good friends you can count on?" Elena wondered.

"Stefan's still in the picture of course," Damon supplied, a tight smile playing on his lips.

"Ric?" Elena questioned.

"Yeah." Damon chuckled. "Ric."

"You and Sophia won't ever be alone Damon, regardless of who you turn to. Whatever Katherine's planning, weather you too work it out or not: you'll always have options. You just have to see them sometimes…" she drew.

They stared at the sky together afterwards. Elena's cold and chilly feeling completely forgotten.

"And if you ever need me…" she mused after a while. "My phone number's still 843 748 10-"

"-04," Damon finished. _The fourth of October_. "The night we first kissed," he remembered. _He'd never forgotten._

"You'll be alright, Damon," Elena promised. "Whatever may come your way, no matter what you decide or when, you _will_ be ok."

Neither of them spoke again, they spend another while longer in comfortable silence. At the time that was enough, at time that was all that mattered. Damon, Elena and the stars…

**_xXx_**

_Did you see the sparks filled with hope?  
__**Because you are not alone**__  
Cause someone's out there, sending out flares…_

**_xXx_**


	3. Everybody hurts

**xXx**

_When the days and nights are long  
When you're sure you've had enough  
Of this life… well hang on._

_Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries  
And everybody hurts,  
sometimes ..._

**xXx**

Strength (NOUN)  
1\. The quality or state of being physically strong;  
2\. The capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure.

Strength. It's a wonderful quality. A quality we gravely admire in people, rightfully so. Strength is the capacity to endure, the power to stand tall. It's impressive. Overcoming anything in life, always begins with strength. _Living_ requires strength. But is strength the goal, or merely a means to an end? How much is it worth to always be what we define as 'strong'?

When we're eighty or ninety and look back on our lives, do we want to be the person who's never shed a tear?

**xXx**

Christmas 2014

A car honked loudly right behind Damon. He didn't accelerate. He didn't even care. It was the first Christmas he ever had to spend without his daughter. He didn't like to admit it to himself, but it hurt like hell.

The divorce with Katherine had been a complete mess. They had thrown mud at each other from day one, dragging up every little questionable thing the other one had ever done. The official trial was planned for February, but in the meantime the judge had decided on a temporary shared custody agreement which included Sophia spending one day a week with her mother. Objectively it wasn't that much but it was more than Damon could handle, especially since Christmas evening happened to fall on Katherine's 'Wednesday' this year.

In hindsight, Damon should have seen it coming from a mile away. His ex had never been all that interested in their daughter. Damon had never seen it like that however. Instead he'd been happy that his wife was trying to reconnect to his little girl. Sophia needed her mother.

On top of that, Katherine mostly just picked the little girl up for dinner, rarely claiming her right to have her daughter stay the night. The first few weeks she'd tried it of course, but since putting the five-year-old to sleep proved to be tougher than she'd imagined, she usually dropped Sophie back off well before bedtime.

It was exactly two weeks ago that Damon had figured out that Christmas would be celebrated on a Wednesday evening this year. Naturally he'd instantly called Katherine, wanting to clear it up, but apparently his ex-wife didn't feel like spending Christmas night alone either. _Or this was yet another way for her to torment him_, which was also a remote possibility.

Damon had called his lawyer in vain that evening: interlocutory orders turned out not to be appealable. Which resulted in him driving aimlessly through the city, irritating many people who were in a hurry to get to their families.

'_At least you get to be with your family_,' Damon thought bitterly as the car behind him honked again. Then he parked by the side of the road, resting his head on the steering wheel. _How in God's name did he end up alone on Christmas night?_

He pondered the question and turned it around. W_ho would he usually spend Christmas night with? Where would he be if he had been invited? Who were his people and where were they tonight_?

His sister was on a skiing trip with her husband and he hadn't spoken to their mother in quite a while. Ric was staying over at Meredith's family and if he was being honest… that was it. It seemed like such a small crowd, _wasn't there anyone else_? Damon grabbed his phone and scrolled through the contacts, feeling slightly pathetic for doing so. Then again: what else was he going to do all evening?

A. B. C. D. E. Elena Gilbert. It had been a while since they last spoke. _He couldn't call her, could he? Not on Christmas, it would be weird. She was probably hosting a Christmas party for her family._

Damon put his phone away again, staring into the night. Sophia. God, he missed Sophia. He craved to drive up to Katherine's hotel and steel his girl his little girl away. He almost had… When Katherine had picked his little girl up, he'd followed them, he'd watched them have dinner together. It had burned like hell to see his sweetheart miserably picking away at her plate. He'd been seconds away from going inside and picking her up to take her home, but the rational side of him had been just in time to alert him that such behavior would not be appreciated in court. He couldn't afford to make mistakes, so he'd stepped back into his car and had been driving around ever since.

He did not want to be alone. He took his phone again, selecting Elena's number. What was the worst that could happen? Her telling him no? Her humiliating him. He knew she wouldn't do the latter and going over a million other options he found none that could possibly make him feel worse.

"Elena Gilbert?"

Oh shit, he had to say something now, find a decent excuse for calling.

"Elena?" Damon questioned, his voice foreign to his own ears.

"Yes…" drew Elena.

"I just… wanted to tell you Merry Christmas…" Damon decided halfway his sentence.

"Thank you, you too," Elena replied confused.

"Ok. Have a good evening," Damon told her awkwardly.

"Wait," Elena called. "Are you ok?" she asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Damon inquired.

"Because it's Christmas evening and you're calling me without the pleasant chatter of people in the background…" Elena mused.

"Oh…"

"Are you spending the evening alone with Sophie? I heard about you and Katherine… Or are you staying over at your parent's house?" Elena inquired.

"I haven't talked to my parents in… well, let's just say it's been a while."

Elena seemed to ponder the situation for a little while, coming up with a proper reply. "You know what, I'm spending the evening with some old college friends in my apartment, if you and Sophie feel up to it, you two are welcome to join. It's Christmas after all," she decided impulsively.

"You and your husband and your friends… and me?" Damon tried to wrap his head around the strange configuration.

"Well, me and friends minus the husband. We-, we're spending the evening apart this year. Things have been-," she cut off her sentence with a rueful sigh. "Anyhow: you and Sophia are free to join, this party is getting a bit dull anyhow."

"Sophia's at Katherine's…" Damon informed her.

"Oh." Elena was quiet for a moment, accessing the situation. "Then you can come alone," she decided. "I'll text you the address. Technically it's a pot luck but… well I have enough food I guess," she informed him.

"Thanks… I'll… I'll be there," Damon replied to his own surprise. This evening was getting stranger by the minute.

**xXx**

It was after 11:53 PM by the time Elena started to clean up the plates and cutlery from the table. Cups and bowls were scattered all across the room. Her friends had just gone home after the usual hugs and wished. Only Damon had never approached her to say goodbye. He'd arrived a few hours earlier, handing her a bottle of wine. But he had been extraordinary quiet all evening and a little while earlier he had suddenly disappeared without a word.

When Elena was happy with the state of her living room and the washing machine roared to life again, she switched off the light and moved to the only other room in the apartment: her bedroom. She was already lifting her top up her body when she suddenly spotted a shadow on her balcony. She screamed.

The man who'd been leaning on the railing turned around in the blink of an eye, quickly reaching for the handle to the full-length window.

"Elena?" Damon asked anxiously.

"Damon!" Elena screeched. "You scared me to death! I thought you left!"

"I'm sorry," Damon apologized, feeling guilty. "I just needed some air I guess…" he mused. "And the fireworks were about to start."

"Did you want to watch?" Elena inquired.

Damon shrugged.

A second later the first explosions lit up the city. Elena stepped past him to get outside and have a look. Damon followed her onto the balcony.

"It's so beautiful…" Elena mused. "I love fireworks, there's something magical about them." Damon didn't interject so she continued talking. "Remember when we were younger and you father used to light up the sky at New Year's evening? The entire neighborhood would come and watch. We used to have a great time back then…"

There was still no response.

"Damon?"

Damon had his head turned away from her.

"Damon?"

There was no movement next to her and not a sound. Damon simply stared at the sky. Elena touched his shoulder turning him around, but he wasn't having it and turned right back. The movement weren't aggressive, it wasn't like he pushed her away. But it was obvious he didn't feel like sharing his thoughts.

"Damon, are you ok?" Elena questioned.

He didn't answer.

Elena touched his shoulder once more. This time he turned to the wall, subtly trying to touch his cheek without her noticing and failing miserably. The fireworks stopped.

"Damon."

"Don't make such a big deal out of this, ok? And stop asking the same stupid question. You're smart, you know the answer. But I won't get it together anytime soon if you keep this up, so please, Elena. May I have a minute?" Damon burst out.

"Ok…" Elena whispered softly, stepping into the room next door, startled.

When Damon joined her in the bedroom three minutes later, he seemed to have recovered. He sat down next to her on the bed and mumbled a quick apology.

Elena tentatively reached for his hand.

"Don't," Damon implored, pulling his hand back. "I'm fine."

"Why?" Elena inquired. "You're not fine. It's just us. Why put on the act?" Elena wondered out loud.

"I'm a parent now, Elena," Damon told her, as if it were the most logical explanation in the world. "I cannot afford to be weak. I'm stronger than this."

Elena shook her head softly.

"Stronger than what? Stronger than missing the child you raised on Christmas evening. So strong that it doesn't affect you. Do you really think that would be a good thing, honesty?"

Damon had no response to that.

"Why didn't you make any plans tonight? You knew it would be hard…" Elena inquired.

Damon swallowed audibly.

"You miss your father, don't you?"

The man next to her nodded slightly, unable to reply verbally.

Elena placed her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around him. A gush of air escaped her lips, followed by a humorless chuckle. "Oh Damon…" she murmured. "I don't get where you get that idea that you're the one person on this planet who's not allowed to seek comfort… But it's bullshit, you know. Sometimes everything is wrong… and if that doesn't affect you somehow you must be a robot."

"There are people dying every day, Elena… My dad is still alive, Sophia's safe and healthy…"

"So what? So you have to suck it all up, or what?" Elena inquired, quirking an eyebrow. "There are people who die being tortured to death, does that mean I can't cry when my friend dies painlessly in a car crash? There are people who lose a child, does that mean I cannot father when I lose my father? A aching heart is an aching heart, Damon. It's pure cruelty to take a measure."

"I don't want to feel this way…" Damon whispered.

A soft smile played on Elena's lips. "You love and you care, Damon. You have a beautiful heart, missing the people you love is simply the flipside of the same coin. It hurts today, I know it hurts. But you would not be your loving self if it did not… Missing people doesn't make you weak, it makes you human."

Elena's fingers entwined with his as they breathed in silence for a while. They wouldn't get much sleep that night, but some evenings sleep is not what matters.

**xXx**

Strength is the capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure.  
Withstand (VERB): to remain undamaged or unaffected by; resist.

Strength is a wonderful quality, but like many things in life: it's best in moderation. If we remain unaffected by the loss of people we've loved dearly, one could perceive that as the point where strength turns into weakness. Sometimes we have to feel the pain and allow it to wash over us, there is no shame in taking a moment to breathe and remember…

To be strong is a wonderful way to live you life, but it's just that: a way. Being strong in a quality in your toolbox, but it's not the destination, the point of living. Love, friendship, family,… those are the things we want to remember when we look back to our lives. Whenever you feel a tear trail down your cheek because you miss someone, know that strength is not the relevant factor.

The relevant factor is to love and to care. People are what matters. So if you look up at the sky and find your eyes prickling, it just means that you've met people who mattered. It doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you any less admirable. It just means your life is a memorable journey worth living.

**xXx**

_Well everybody hurts,  
sometimes  
everybody cries.  
So hold on._

_You are… not alone._

**xXx**

(Lyrics by R.E.M. of course)  
**Night-night.**


End file.
